It was a bad year all around. Things forced. Things unpleasant. Disappointments. 失恋. Big decisions and sacrifices which haven’t paid off (so far). Confusion. So so much confusion: exposed to the different possible professional trajectories, non of which seems to fit my life vision.
I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight
On the other hand, many cool people came into my life, each contributing to my growth and well-being in the measure that was possible at that moment. I wish them all the best, success and genuine happiness.
As a flawed person, the current dead-end that I am currently experiencing may be my mistake. As a race horse, it makes me feel agitated, and with the agitation comes the moodiness and despair. But as a phoenix I will rise above and pick up my pieces. I once said that my happiness is not important. This is not true. There is genuine value in my happiness. If I haven’t achieved it (not even partially) yet, it will happen. I cannot accept that life is what it is and happiness doesn’t exist. I will seek it to the end of the world. And when I find it, I am going to tell you all about it!
As Pearl Jam say:
I know I was born/ And I know that I’ll die/ the in between is mine/ I am mine”
2012 may not turn out to be the best year ever. But I will definitely try to make it a better year than the last one. And this in my book is a synonym to “a good start”.
P.S. I found this on PostSecret a week ago. It sums up fantastically my attitude for the New Year: